Update

HOLY CANOLEY! Time is flying by.

I don't mean drifting by on soft, flapping wings, either. I mean SHOOTING PAST like a friggin' meteor or a spaceship in Star Wars.

Generally, I've been pretty happy lately. I've made some improvements in my life that I've needed to make for quite a while. I'm eating healthier, I'm exercising on a regular basis, and I'm making an effort to be more social.

While I have my happy moments, I can't seem to make my attitude STAY positive. I seem to be in a continuous cycle where I think, "Come on, Celeste. Let's be happy." So I'm there for a few hours, and before I know it I've slipped into the "self-pity, nobody loves me" mindset. It's MADDENING! (I've always liked that word. It's a great descriptor..)

I think my biggest complaint at the moment is that I feel like everyone I meet misunderstands my personality. I try to be "myself" (whatever that means.. how could I be anything else?) but I always seem to give people the wrong impression. I feel like I'm giving them only what they want to see-- the quirky, sometimes funny, slightly-talented girl. I feel like people look at what I can DO instead of how I THINK.. which I feel is more revealing to my character. I get frustrated when people judge me by my actions without knowing of my intentions. Then again, there's the constant argument that a person does what he/she thinks. I think this is true, too.. so I have conflicting opinions. Maybe the truth is that people really do see me for who I am, and I'm over-thinking things--which is probable.

I'm going to look at patterns today for a summer dress. I want it to be really simple. Similar to this one but a higher waist, no bow, and, of course, longer. I'd probably do it in a light blue or light yellow.

When people find out I can sew, they always act surprised. Am I really THAT girl?

Anyway, let me know what you think.

Life is Beautiful

Valentine's Day is pretty great.

Even when I don't have anyone "special" to celebrate it with, it's fun to see the world giving a little more love than it usually does.

Friday night I wanted to watch a movie (cause that's what I do when I'm bored..) and I was struggling to think of the right one for my mood. Being Valentine's weekend, I wanted it to be at least slightly romantic, but I didn't want to watch a chick-flick. (I've been anti-c.f.'s lately.. not sure why.) It came down to Life is Beautiful and West Side Story. I eenie-miney-moed for LiB.

Um. Hello BEST RANDOM CHOICE EVER. While I've always loved W.S.S... this was perfect for me. I'd kind of been moping around the last couple days thinking about how I hadn't ever really "dated" anyone too seriously. While watching LiB I realized that it's okay, because I'll find someone to make up for all this time I've been by myself.

Guido (the main guy) is incredible. Not only does he stay optimistic in the ABSOLUTE WORST situation possible.. he encourages his son to think positively, too. I know if I were in his situation, I'd be complaining, trying to make fun of the people that were torturing me, or wallowing in self-pity. It wouldn't even cross my mind to try to think of a way to make it a fun situation for those around me. Guido doesn't worry about what ANYONE thinks except his family. He takes risks that could literally end his life for his son.

I need to be more selfless, optimistic, and happy.

(Now for the spiritual moment..)

This morning I was laying in bed and thinking about how I could change the world (yeah, I realize the irony). I thought about the small steps I could take toward making everyone's lives a little bit better. Then I started my scripture study and read Helaman 5:7-8. I can't pick out the "best parts" so here it is:

"7-Therefore, my sons, I would that ye should do that which is good, that it may be said of you, and also be written, even as it has been said and written of [Lehi, Nephi, etc.].

8-And now my sons, behold I have somewhat more to desire of you, which desire is, that ye may not do these things that ye may boast, but that ye may do these things to lay up for yourselves a treasure in heaven, yea, which is eternal, and which fadeth not away; yea, that ye may have that precious gift of eternal life, which we have reason to suppose hath been given to our fathers."

Imagine my shame when I realized how selfishly I was thinking! I was literally thinking "What can I do to make people realize I'm trying to change the world?" (because I had been thinking of the Olympics and the fame of the Olympians.. haha.) and BAM! I was shown the error of my ways. I need to be doing good things quietly, happily, and humbly (like Guido).

I love big realizations like that. Especially when it's something I should have already figured out.

Fun Time :D

Yesterday was fun. 

I saw a deer flip and fly (seriously.. at least 10 feet in the air) to it's sad and intricate death. Then I watched the face of the man who killed it. He looked heartbroken.. but I think that was just because his car was busted.

Favorite quotes of the day (yester..day):

"The great thing about music is that when it hits you, it doesn't hurt"-- Anonymous

"Unless it hits you in the face"-- Anonymous #2

 "I want to go to Egypt"

"Because of Harry Potter, right?"

"I feel like I could get pregnant from sitting on this toilet."

"Pot isn't bad for you, it's just illegal!"

KilbyCourt.

Oh, praise Kilby Court in all it's ghetto-ness.

I'll admit, the first time I stepped foot down the dark alley with seemingly nothing but trees and creepers, I was terrifed. It seemed like a place in one of those gang movies where all the murders happen that the cops don't ever find out about. Basically I was about to turn around and run. Thank goodness I didn't! As soon as you go past the ticketbox, the whole atmosphere changes. There's a friendly little fire-pit, fun musicians, and plenty of lighting and happiness to make you feel right at home (not to mention incredible music). :D

I. Love. Kilby Court.

(and I'm going tonight! yeeehaw!)

Beautiful. :D