(Disclaimer: Most of you probably already know all of this. It's just what's been on my mind, and I wanted to figure out how to say it. Besides, I figure it's been so long since I updated this that no one will see it anyway.. So here we go!)
Reasons (referring to the title):
1--One "Happy Ending" will usually invite another problem.
In movies, there's the typical story line we're taught in Elementary school. There's the intro, the rising issues, the climax, and the resolved ending. From there on out it's blue skies and sunshine! It's pretty satisfying.
In LIFE, it's not that simple. Unfortunately.
As soon as one issue is resolved, another will undoubtedly arrive. It's supposed to be that way. We aren't supposed to be comfortable in this life. It's how we learn, adapt, grow, mature, and prepare for the life after this one! Isn't that marvelous?!
2--One person's "love" is another persons.. something else.
This is a new realization for me, and it makes me ridiculously happy.
In movies, after two people fall in love they seem to know exactly how the other person feels, their actions are natural, and they almost always get married after a year or so. It seems almost thoughtless.
In LIFE, it's a little different.
Love means so many different things to EVERY SINGLE PERSON.
It's tough to explain, but I think this quote says it best:
"Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have" (Author Unknown)
I guess what I want to say is this: Don't expect too much from the people you love. My mom always says "Give 90%, Expect 10%".
If you don't have preconceived notions of how your darling and dear should treat you, you can't be disappointed. And it's more likely they'll surprise you with their own unique and fabulous way of showing how much they care about you.
It makes me feel fabulous when I realize that my relationship with my fiance is COMPLETELY new and unique.
3-- Even love takes HARD WORK.
In movies, after the main character falls in love, all the issues fall away. They can live in a happy stupor for the rest of their lives.
In LIFE, I feel like my life is FINALLY beginning!
It's going to be awesome.... and extremely hard.
I get to share the rest of my life with someone who wants nothing more than to be with me. That's probably the greatest feeling in the entire world.
However, our respective lives have been COMPLETELY different up to this point. It's going to be a struggle to mesh them together, make compromises and sacrifices, until we can finally get to the point where we know every minimal thing about each others quirks and preferences. I'm excited for that. :D
Also, it's much easier said than done to be completely selfless.
That's definitely something I think I'll always need to work on. For now, I'll start with my fiance. I'll focus on putting his needs and desires before my own. After I master that I can move on to the rest of the world.
I absolutely LOVE this time of my life. It's stressful, exhausting, and a little bit scary. But I love to feel like I'm progressing. I love that my selfish time is over and I can learn how to use my life to serve others. Yippeeeee!!!!
Also, if anyone knows of any nice, inexpensive apartments for rent in the murray/midvale area, will you give me the info? Thanks. :D
I hope you aren't sick of this topic, cause it's something I'm pretty passionate about.
The following are some excerpts from
"Whe Not Be A Bad Person?"
(I know I won't be writing these in thechnically correct ways, but I don't really care... so you shouldn't either.)
Beauty and truth are often linked with goodness as the supreme values: these three commodities are what the world should contain more of. I am happy to go along with these noble sentiments, but I would add that beauty and truth are bound up with goodness in inextricable ways, as follows.
A good person is a truthful person: habitual deceivers are not good. And truthful not only to others but to themselves: they seek out and respect the truth for their own consumption, not fooling themselves about where the truth lies. She who loves goodness also loves truth.
Less, obviously, beauty has a close relation to goodness. Many beautiful works of art are suffused with moral goodness, in ways that are hard to disentangle from their beauty; but more to the point, goodness of character is itself a form of beauty-- what we might call 'moral beauty' or 'beauty of soul'. The character of a good person gives aesthetic pleasure. A bad person, by contrast, has an ugly character, a soul we find it repungent to gaze upon. I think this is why we like to hang the pictures of those we admire, while we find it hard to stand the sight of the wicked. Thus goodness partakes of beauty. Indeed, given that not everyone can be physically beautiful, goodness of character affords one of the few other ways of exemplifying beauty. Nor does it require special talents of great labour, like being musically or poetically gifted. In a sense anyone can be morally beautiful, though not anyone can exhibit musical or literary beauty. This is because moral beauty is more an affair of the will than other kinds.
So if you want to make up for a lack of looks, you don't have to become an opera singer; you can simply become a decent human being.
The face of a good person is apt to radiate the virtue within, thus acquiring a beauty it would not otherise have; while the face of a bad person will tend the reflect the innter ugliness and be repellent to the gaze. Look at the expression on a face, notably when in repose: it can say a lot. This is not of course a simple matter of plain physical ugliness being the measure of a man's badness-- far from it. It is a much subtler thing than that, though one that most people can recognise when they see a clear instance of it (I mention no names). A physically ugly face can give off moral beauty, and a physically beautiful face can be marred by inner corruption. Nor, of course, is it easy to judge a person's character from her face, and major mistakes can be made, but with experience it is a skill that can be developed. Attend to the smile, the play of the eyes, the indefinable aura of the overall expression. Naturally the older a person gets, so that their face has had more time to mould itself to their soul, the easier it becomes to read their character from what begins at the neck and ends at the crown. I often think that a certain sort of tightness in the face is a suspicious sign.
So, if you are still wondering what reason you have to be virtuous, there is this reason at least: you don't want to end up looking even less attractive than you do now!
I think one of my favorite things about this article is how much he focuses on recognizing the moral beauty of others.. instead of the typical "focus on becoming morally beautiful". I think it's good to put effort into the way you act and look, but it's even better to look for the good in others.
When we were little, our parents got us some tapes with those awesome "we're trying to teach your kids right and wrong but in a fun way that they'll love" songs.
One of our favorites was the "Think, Feel, Do Polka".
It went a little something like this:
"You think it. You feel it. You do it. It's that Old 'Think, Feel, Do Polka'"
Truly inspiring lyrics.
Sarcasm aside, it's a great principle. How do you expect to stay lazy if you're constantly thinking about exciting, active activities? Or.. maybe the opposite is more in tune with your situation. How do you expect to be an energetic, exciting person when all you can think to do is watch T.V. and sleep?
I've always liked to take it one step past "doing" .. into "becoming". Kind of like Aristotle's famous quote, "You are what you repeatedly do". How often does that principle apply? For example, if you're thinking beautiful thoughts, will that eventually make you a beautiful person? I feel like I've talked about this before..
Lately I've been considering the potential people take so casually. We can literally become anything.. thanks to plastic surge and hair-dye. (just kidding... kind of.) Obviously to do so, you need to set goals. But I think the easiest way to adjust to that ideal image of yourself is to imagine it. Pretend your character is already what you want it to be. Act as if you were that person. Dress like them, eat like them, exercise like them, and talk like them. Eventually you'll be that person without having to try! Sure, it's easier said than done. But it's worth a shot. :D