Starting a new job is.. difficult.
It's not just having to learn new procedures and routines..
For me, it's how ridiculous I feel every time I mess up.
I know it's not expected for me to know everything by the end of the week.. but I can't help but wish I did.
I keep reminding myself of the first week of driver's ed. I was overwhelmed. As pathetic as it sounds, I was so concerned with checking everything constantly. I couldn't ever remember which pedal was gas and which was the brake. I felt flustered every time I got in a car. I remember asking my mom once, "Will I ever get used to this?!" to which she calmly replied, "After a month or so, you won't even have to think about it."
It's made me realize how proud I am.
I HATE not knowing things. I HATE being on the bottom of the totem-pole. When they told me we were getting a new teller, I was thrilled... that is, until I found out she was just coming from one of our other branches. I'm still the least-knowledgable person there. haha. It's so silly, but that bothers me to no end.
It brings me back to a quote I heard forever ago.. and I'm too lazy to google it and find out who said it.. but it goes like this: "Comparison is a matter of pride."
Eek. I'm pretty sure for the majority of my life, the only way I've measured my self-worth is by comparing myself to those around me. That's an awful, awful realization. Since I heard that quote, I've tried so hard to recognize my uniquenesses and count them as virtues.. I hate to discover I haven't made it as far as I'd like to.
I really just need to accept the fact that I don't know as much as my coworkers.. and hope they don't hate my constant questions and mistakes.
Don't get me wrong, I'm loving the actual job. Once I get the hang of things, I'm sure I'll be quite content.
Please--tell me I'm not alone!
