Sep 24, 2010

Silly Struggles.

Starting a new job is.. difficult.
It's not just having to learn new procedures and routines..
For me, it's how ridiculous I feel every time I mess up.
I know it's not expected for me to know everything by the end of the week.. but I can't help but wish I did.
I keep reminding myself of the first week of driver's ed. I was overwhelmed. As pathetic as it sounds, I was so concerned with checking everything constantly. I couldn't ever remember which pedal was gas and which was the brake. I felt flustered every time I got in a car. I remember asking my mom once, "Will I ever get used to this?!" to which she calmly replied, "After a month or so, you won't even have to think about it."

It's made me realize how proud I am.
I HATE not knowing things. I HATE being on the bottom of the totem-pole. When they told me we were getting a new teller, I was thrilled... that is, until I found out she was just coming from one of our other branches. I'm still the least-knowledgable person there. haha. It's so silly, but that bothers me to no end.

It brings me back to a quote I heard forever ago.. and I'm too lazy to google it and find out who said it.. but it goes like this: "Comparison is a matter of pride."
Eek. I'm pretty sure for the majority of my life, the only way I've measured my self-worth is by comparing myself to those around me. That's an awful, awful realization. Since I heard that quote, I've tried so hard to recognize my uniquenesses and count them as virtues.. I hate to discover I haven't made it as far as I'd like to.

I really just need to accept the fact that I don't know as much as my coworkers.. and hope they don't hate my constant questions and mistakes.

Don't get me wrong, I'm loving the actual job. Once I get the hang of things, I'm sure I'll be quite content.

Please--tell me I'm not alone!

Sep 16, 2010


Dear Attractive Man in the Jeep behind me this morning--
My initial reaction to your good-lookingness was quickly replaced with incredulity at your rudeness. I realize you want me to go faster, but the giant truck in front of me was preventing me from doing so.. and I'm too kind to ride their tail like you were riding mine. Plus, they probably wouldn't have noticed my tiny little black car. Please, refrain from the rude hand gestures in the future. They're only disappointing.

Dear ISACA (standing group at the Lion House)--
I understand that you would like to have a board meeting an hour before your meal is supposed to start, and that's fine. Please don't be frustrated if we have to lean over you to get your table set up. Also, I really am sorry that your meal started 10 minutes late. It took us a while to find your salads. Oh, and in the future, when your server is literally squeezing her way between you and another person, it might be less annoying for you and her if you would move your chair in just an inch or two.

Dear Brain--
We all have our days, so I don't blame you for taking a break today. Please, hurry back from your vacation. I'm struggling without you.

Dear Friend who shall remain nameless--
I've finally realized how selfish and spoiled you truly are. At the same time, your selflessness will never cease to amaze me. (Yes, I know I just contradicted myself.. but it's the truth.)

Dear Rooney--
I've missed you. Welcome back into my life. I'm excited to listen to your newest (kind of old..) album. Let's not take another break like that, k?

Dear iPod--
I've never really thanked you for being so awesome. 6 years and counting. :)

Dear Mashed Potatoes--
I love you.

Sep 7, 2010


I'm in a super-duper mood.

From now on, (well.. technically from Saturday on..) there will be no more dealing with silly brides and high school dance-goers for me.

Instead, I will work in the glorious field of MONEY.
I'm seriously excited. I want to learn all there is to learn about banking.
I'm starting as a teller at Health Care Credit Union.

Can I get a "hollaaaaa!"?

This is the male (much cooler) version of me.