Letters.

Dear Attractive Man in the Jeep behind me this morning--
My initial reaction to your good-lookingness was quickly replaced with incredulity at your rudeness. I realize you want me to go faster, but the giant truck in front of me was preventing me from doing so.. and I'm too kind to ride their tail like you were riding mine. Plus, they probably wouldn't have noticed my tiny little black car. Please, refrain from the rude hand gestures in the future. They're only disappointing.

Dear ISACA (standing group at the Lion House)--
I understand that you would like to have a board meeting an hour before your meal is supposed to start, and that's fine. Please don't be frustrated if we have to lean over you to get your table set up. Also, I really am sorry that your meal started 10 minutes late. It took us a while to find your salads. Oh, and in the future, when your server is literally squeezing her way between you and another person, it might be less annoying for you and her if you would move your chair in just an inch or two.

Dear Brain--
We all have our days, so I don't blame you for taking a break today. Please, hurry back from your vacation. I'm struggling without you.

Dear Friend who shall remain nameless--
I've finally realized how selfish and spoiled you truly are. At the same time, your selflessness will never cease to amaze me. (Yes, I know I just contradicted myself.. but it's the truth.)

Dear Rooney--
I've missed you. Welcome back into my life. I'm excited to listen to your newest (kind of old..) album. Let's not take another break like that, k?

Dear iPod--
I've never really thanked you for being so awesome. 6 years and counting. :)

Dear Mashed Potatoes--
I love you.