Unending Lamenting

Dear, oh dear. What a strange weekend.

Yesterday I was on my way to work when my loverly sister Chelsey called me. This is sort of what our conversation went like:

Chelsey: " I have three speakers for our ward tomorrow. Would you be willing to be the fourth?"

Celeste: "Uhh.. did you call the right person?"

Chelsey: "Celeste. My sister. My youngest sister. Are you willing to speak in church tomorrow?"

Celeste: "Uhh.. okay!"

Chelsey: "Thanks! If you could speak on the importance of attending our church meetings, that would be great!"

Me, oh my.. what a topic. There's really not much to say! Go to church. It's a commandment. Done.

Buuuut of course, being my silly ol' self, I looked up one quote, called it good for the day and went to Karate Kid (which is a fantastic movie, despite the issues I have with it's name.) Then this morning I woke up around 9:30.. (Sundays are my days to sleep in.).. and realized I had absolutely nothing prepared. Sooo I rushed around in the scriptures, searched lds.org like crazy, and threw together a talk. It went pretty well, if I might say so. :)

Then I went to my friend's homecoming opportunity to speak upon returning home from a mission. Yes, I realize the hypocrisy of me telling people it's important to go to their church meetings only to leave 5 minutes later. It was fun to see some of my friends that I hadn't seen in a while, but for some reason I found myself in a terrible mood. I tried to pinpoint the reason for my pouting.. and after a while I decided that it brought me right back to high school.. which was not something I particularly enjoyed. I mean, I didn't dread going to school everyday. In fact, I quite enjoyed band and lunch.. and even most of my other classes. I just didn't enjoy the social atmosphere. I felt smothered in artificial happiness. I felt like the only time I enjoyed myself was when I was making a complete fool of myself, which I would eventually regret.

Anyhow, I kind of decided I wouldn't go to many more homecomings opportunities to speak. Which is kind of a downer, because I really do enjoy seeing my friends. I just really, really dislike that high school... stuffiness.

Those high school reunions are sure gonna be fun, right? heh.. heh..

Goooo high school!

Nonsense

I can't really tell you why, but I've been obsessed with this Incubus song:

WARNING

Bat your eyes, girl. Be otherworldly.

Count your blessings. Seduce a stranger.

What's so wrong with being happy?

Kudos to those who see through sickness.

Over and over and over and over and ooh...

She woke in the morning.

She knew that her life had passed her by

And she called out a warning:

"Don't ever let life pass you by!"

I suggest we learn to love

ourselves before it's made illegal.

When will we learn?
When will we change? 

Just in time to see it all come down.

Those left standing will make millions

writing books on the way it should have been.

 

When she woke in the morning,

she knew that her life had passed her by

And she called out a warning:

"Don't ever let life pass you by!"

Floating in this cosmic jacuzzi,

we are like frogs--oblivious

to the water starting to boil.

No one flinches. We all float face down.

She woke in the morning.

She knew that her life had passed her by

And she called out a warning,

"Don't ever let life pass you by..."

I haven't had much to say lately. That's why this poor page has been abandoned. I haven't read anything to expand my understanding of the world.. which is usually when I have the biggest desire to write something.

I HAVE been reading some books by one of my mom's favorite authors, Madeleine Brent. Funnily enough, I was reading the bio about the author.. which is something I hardly ever do.. and found out "she" is actually a man. This was after I'd read a couple of "her" books. I was pretty amazed because of the accuracy with which he writes the woman's typical perspective on relationships, life, and the woman's role in the world. There were a couple of things that I looked back on and realized were a little.. different.. from the usual female opinion.

Anyway, that whole experience made me realize how truly different men and women are. Our perspectives about almost EVERYTHING are so different. I wish I could expound.. but I'm afraid most of the things I would say are pretty stereotypical and even though I believe they are true, I don't want to offend anybody.

Here's the book I'm reading right now. I think the women on the cover are gorgeous. I wish their look were in-style..

AAAnyway. That is all.

Blaaahhh

My emotions are going haywire today.

• I'm so grateful for my family and friends. They are so supportive and loving.
• I'm so frustrated with my own stupidity. Sometimes I wonder if my brain is completely functional.
• I'm exhausted. I feel like life has required so much energy and effort lately.

Because I'm a planning-type of a person, I'm almost constantly thinking about the future. Most of the time I'm excited for the possibilities, but right now I'm anxious, nervous, hesitant, and worried.

I feel like I've been ignoring things that need desperate attention, and now they're getting back at me by screaming in my face. I need to learn how to handle those stressful, annoying aspects of life with a positive attitude instead of just shoving them under the rug and hoping they'll go away.

In other newwwwsss..

I've been in love with LACE lately. It's so hard to get the right kind though.. most of it just looks tacky.

I want to be this girl on my wedding day..

Ah. I love weddings. Especially when you can tell the bride and groom are mature enough to know what they're actually doing. It's like all the worries about life melt away for a few sweet hours and all that's left are the beautiful possibilities of a life well-lived and an eternity full of love. I get frustrated when girls focus more on the actual wedding than the marriage.. but I'll readily admit that I'm pretty excited for my wedding day.. whenever it may be. haha.

Often people attempt to live their lives backwards; they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want.

-Margaret Young

ha-ha-happiness!

Remember this post? Here goes part dos.

• Going to bed early. Like.. Grandma early.
• Waking up early and eating a healthy breakfast
• The sun and wind on my face
• Catching a whiff of myself and thinking, "Hooray! I smell good!"
• Throwing my hair in a ponytail to get it out of my face and realizing that it actually looks pretty good.
• That moment when I realize I've become accustomed to something that heretofore made me nervous.
• Using the word "heretofore" appropriately.
• Driving when hardly anyone else is on the road.
• Geeking out to classical music.
• Clean clothes. Especially when ALL my clothes are clean.
• Realizing that I don't care if people think I'm a dork.
• Knowing that I AM a dork.
• Awkward dance moves.
• Finding that I'm okay with letting go.
• Watching my savings account grow. (haha.. I'm a little vain, okay?)
• Finding that quote that perfectly suits my feelings.

I know I've already put this quote up, but it's the BOMB.

"We need not be let alone. We need to be really bothered once in a while. How long is it since you were really bothered? About something important, something real?"

-Ray Bradbury